Good job on standing up for yourself in this keep it up. AITA For Telling My Stepdad I Dont Want His Last Name. AmItheAsshole Original. I was confused, and then realization struck, it was his pee. If you can stay with your uncle, I would. The step sister is an AH because she wants the sister out of the shared room, instead of letting her use her own room. Nothing entitles a child to speak to anyone like that. Huge ones. But I'd love to hear the stepsister's perception of this blended family and where her frustration primarily lies.). She failed you as a mother, and I hope you can move out permanently. If Dad brings those people up again warn him to drop it if he wants to see you happy. Leaving the house for no reason. When I was in third grade all the way to 8th, I slept in a bunk bed under my brother(2 years older). Thankfully yes (and its the only copy) NTA. My 14 and 11 year old brothers share a bedroom. Your situation was already toxic once your stepdad refused to let you keep your fathers belongings and your mom didnt stand up for you. I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. YOU should not have to suffer for someone else's mistakes. Thats vile. If we wanted to hang it always had to be in someone's private space. Best thing for everyone is for you to move out. NTA. NTA get the important documents and things you need. The fact that you're 16 and the only one who is actually acting like an adult really shows the dynamic in your family. I'm willing to bet the answer is noting. You have been used as a target, scapegoat, and doormat, for way too long. Your dad for all his kids (including you), the grandparents for your siblings and even your sibling for their departed mother (obviously in a warped manner as they have been emotionally abused). Stay away as long as possible. NTA and when u see the kids in the streets beat their asses. Only 3 years ago were we lucky enough to find a well-priced home with 5 bedrooms, enough for everyone to have their own and my husband and I have a gaming room in the last one. AITA for uninviting my step-dad from my 16th? I woke up looked to the side and saw liquid falling from my brother's bunk. It wasnt their own bathroom. If you stayed I think your stepsister would have found some way to punish you for her getting in trouble for destroying the gift you made. And once you get emancipated/have a custody situation figured out go NC with her and her husband's family permanently. NTA you made the right decision by leaving. NTA. There's of issues in that house that need to be laid out and discussed. I've lived in several houses with mixed room sizes and some of them have been quite substantial. She allowed them to treat you bad. My stepsister had an argument with her brother and ruined his gaming console when he was out. She would have to go to court to get emancipation or have a report made to social servicesif she has moved out then she'll get returned to the same situation. Stepdad offered to fix it and punish my stepdaughter harder but I packed my things to go with my uncle. Also, I asked my brother for 20,000 for my wedding but he refused and now I wont take his calls, says young bride. Are they 5? Do you have family you can stay with? Your mom failed you time and time again. HA! Your mother chose who her real family was a long time ago, sorry. I guess what I am saying is, given your siblings' recent history how could you not see this coming when he asked you for help? Her dad was gone so maybe she needed the private space more than the stepsiblings to cry/process/be alone. So the smallest space ended up super crowded with the big bed, one full grown man, three kids and their accessories (and me in the living room with my cup of tea and spacey luxury). Your step brother started this. It gets better, reach out if you ever believe otherwise. NTA she should rephrase "she did nothing and deserves to be shunned by yiu". Im almost 30 and the way my step dad treated me compared to his "real kids" was gross and it still bothers me. I am sorry for your loss and if you want to talk feel free to dm me. Stay with your uncle, at least your extended family cares about you. I think the difference in size is enough to matter which is why she mentioned it - she may feel that if they had a bigger space to share than it would help eliminate some of their problems. Not 2 teens sharing a bedroom.. An ADULT and a teen (ss is 18), it is realy upsetting.. the years of a person's age from 13 to 19. NTA Im so sorry that you lost your dad and Im sorry that you have an insensitive mom. NTA. Definitely not something you see anymore (it was on TCM recently, and that bit really stood out to me). Knowing that it didn't solve anything except create more problems? And don't forget dad being a big ass childish insecure baby not allowing OP to have memorabilia from her late dad because step dad's ego might get hurt by a person who isn't even freaking alive. B. You have neglected her, and if not encouraged then at least looked the other way while your new husband marginalized her. If she can't accept that, then it is her choice. Seek their help and I hope things go well for you. I'm with you, I never got why the parents need a large bedroom, as long as the bed fit and there is enough room for clothes that's enough. Step families with petty assholes are the worst. "It upsets me that his children would speak that way about my mother.". Your mother is using you as a sacrificial lamb and is probably now upset that your stepsister's bad behavior (and their bad parenting) has been made public. However, once they became adults, they could have chosen to change their behavior. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. So many parents get remarried and put their new spouse above their own child or children.

Sorry for the highjack. They did not say anything of the sort. But I think he hoped I would someday have a sibling relationship with them. And yes they should be angry and shunning your mother. Stay far far away from them. But since your mom does have legal custody and youre a minor, she can force you to go back to that house. Im not the person who wrote this out. If you can stay with uncle. Idk though, if I was OP I would put that whole situation in the rearview mirror. You are not the AH. It's too late to turn the corner on that. You mean to tell me that your stepsister requested permission to just lock you out of your own room and they agreed to that? The sentence they are "correcting" already implies that; the correction is totally disingenuous, unnecessary, and just a way for the poster to boost their ego by issuing an unmerited finger-wagging. . I've actually seen the Lodge, are you saying that they wished death and rape upon your mother? This is some elitist bullshit LOL. Yeah, every important characteristic box of SM is checked here. Her outrage now doesn't come because of the way you've been treated, it's due to you exposing her behavior to other adults who can't believe what she's allowed to go on. This comment is a copy of your post so readers can see the original text if your post is edited or removed. Did Da actually ask them if this is something they want? Don't be bothered by other's actions. It sucks. Its not unreasonable for OP to expect him to act like an adult. (So was I by then though.). Do not trust these people around your baby. Right?! Nta, you have been failed multiple times. Awful all around. NTA, this has been building. I bet they're being constantly cuddled by the stepdad. Nta. Maybe a little time apart is exactly what you all need. If dad needed another woman to persuade him to leave, he didn't have much character. NTA. My mom died when I was 11 and my stepmom did the same - taking down everything on the wall that was a reminder of my mom. It's where she being allowed to sleep and locked out of during the day. Proposal Gets Pushback, Boats Are Killing Endangered Manatees at an Alarming Rate, Ron DeSantis Scores Huge Win as 'Don't Say Gay' Judge Takes Disney Case.

Locked out of your room?!?! Again, Im sorry youve had to go through all this. Your whole living situation with your mom ans stepdad and especially your stepsister sounds horrible and you need to get out there. She did nothing when her stepdaughter smashed her daughters gift to her dad. Everyone is assuming this is in the US and typical US customs. Im so sorry. /s. I cannot imagine a parent allowing one child to lock the other out of their own room. She and her brother are both chodes. Not at all. Like how does one person deserve privacy and the other has no right to even ask for it. You didn't move out because of one incident, you moved out because it's a toxic environment that has proven to be increasingly hostile and violent towards you. But she should still treat OP like a person, not an obstacle. Pranking is meant to be HARMLESS fun. Idk what world the other three are from. It's just easier not to punish stepsibling when she's picking at her etc. My cousin needed a longer bed because he was 6'5" and his parents had this weird thought that he should be able to have his feet AND head on the bed at the same time but other than that, I got nothin'. Don't forget that Mom allowed OP to be locked out of her own room, allowed Stepsister to control the access OP has to her room and her stuff, and denied OP access to her deceased Dad's things because Step-Dad is insecure! And make sure any Social Security or similar payments follow you. I think she meant that the mom allowed it. NTA I'm so sorry you're going through this. Movie ends with the father's death and Mia and the kids fates unknown, but probably not going to end well - even as well as it could at that point. Your brothers are 30, they need to grow up. Id cut these people out of my life as an adult.

Who I am criticising now is every overly sensitive person that believes downvoting me will make my point less valid simply because they can't handle a point of view based on reason and common sense. I cheered on reading that OP had moved to her uncles place; only thing her mother should be surprised at is that it wasnt sooner. She's upset and weeping, not because she's losing her only child, but because she's ruined her public image. I'm glad that you have an uncle who has your back. Maybe stepdad can help move SB and SS into their own apartment or something. Also thanks for your downvotes, they fuel me . That's fucking ridiculous. You are right. This is horrible. Reddit, Inc. 2023. Mom is saying I'm exaggerating and should let bygones be bygones and not let this ruin my relationship with my family. My mother's family is very traditional and religious and always believed I would be marrying a girl and are having a hard time adjusting. NTA but they all are, I hate the "he's the man" part, you are two girls sharing a small room, the right thing is that you two have the bigger one. That is so toxic! It's sad to say that mom moved on relatively fast. You are obviously not the asshole here like everyone has pointed out. Like any psychological studies or even hypotheses? NTA. Definitely NTA. And hes 20 and still there (they may have expected him to have moved out by now. NTA. NTA your mom is right she didnt do anything. Theyre ALL the real AH. If putting together a wedding isn't stressful enough, experts say dealing with parents and family members who dislike a significant other can put a strain on not only the romantic relationship but also can cross several boundaries. The situation is 1 single male in the large room and the 2 girls sharing the smaller room. She prioritized her pain and her healing above yours by moving on so quickly and with someone who t toed to erase your fathers memory and clearly lets his children treat you like second class citizens in your new home. They have been for years. In the post, the bride said she called all of them "awful" and then left. Your mom has done nothing for you, hasn't protected you from your stepdad's jealousy and insecurity or fought for you (it's ridiculous that they give your stepbrother the bigger room when two people are living in a smaller one, and the fact that you can be locked out of it at your stepsister's whim indicates he wouldn't even give you that if he didn't have to because you essentially don't have a room, just a bed in your stepsister's room. Youre NTA. I am 100% certain that your uncle already wanted to get you out of there and that the rest of your family was already furious at your mother for marrying a terrible person with terrible children without a second thought about you and your well-being. NTA. People dont juat destory stuff when they're angry. I know he would have loved it. NTA - Your mom is 100% the AH here, followed closely by your stepsister and stepfather. Bless your heart, OP. I'm glad you get to spend father's day weekend with your father's side of your family. I agree that the parents are worse, they raised the step siblings into the entitled, adult brats they are today. She deserves everything she gets from your family. You are simply mistaking a reference to the type of social media that one typically socializes with family and loved ones for a general reference to a mass social networking platform. But my dad decided to sell it without prior information and then I created a scene . You need to remind her that. NTA but your stepdad and his family are. hes lucky youre letting HIM see your children. I refuse to expose my son to that toxic ever. Cut them completely off. She chose these people over you repeatedly, thats unforgivable. Yet another please validate I am in the right post. For example to the sub for ones with more controversial judgements in top comments. Its not even for cases of abuse. You deserve to live in a home where you are loved, respected, and have your own space. You being forced to share a room with a stepsister this openly hostile towards you was also a bad move.

How about you tricked her?? Good for you from escaping the toxicity. Please view our voting guide here, and remember to use only one judgement in your comment. Maybe suggest mother-daughter dates, to spend time just you and her to help build on the relationship. Come on, just have a small amount of suspicions at least. At least the mom and step dad were also angry at her, but holy crap. Your mother failed to protect you from SD's insecurities and SS's cruelty. I absolutely never understand these pathetic excuse for parents who allow their children to be bullied/abused/neglected by step-partners and stepchildren. I was just saying, it's OK to make siblings share rooms. I hope everything works out. Your mom failed you in this situation by putting your needs behind her stepchildren. Op, please look out for yourself, I deeply hope you can find someone (maybe the uncle?) NTA. I am sorry your gift to you father was ruined. Why are step parents so bad? You mom may have moved on to a new normal relatively quickly but she majorly failed you in moving you into a blended family that was this badly blended. Not dumb if all you care about is what they did to the woman in the movie. If privacy is that huge of an issue just set up a curtain splitting the room in half or something. Your mom was willingly allowed your stepdad to crap all over your feelings and be able to keep anything from your late dad, bullied you in favor of his kids, and ultimately, show you who was really important during your grief and changes in your life. NTA. Very sad. They killed the protagonist's dog (always a d*ck move IMO) and gaslit the heck out of her in some twisted form of revenge. NTA, those kids don.t deserve to be uncles/aunts. Not new, step families happened all the time in history. Asshole. "No, I know you would like that, but neither they nor I want that kind of relationship as adults. My dad put them into therapy to help them cope with the loss but they were eaten up by rage. Also, OP is teenager. They have always made it perfectly clear that you are not part of their family, and that they would willingly cause pain and harm to you or your mother. Why would you push for a relationship with them from your end? I'm so sorry my love. Grief can show itself in many ways, I don't fault your mom for moving on and finding someone new. Of course, and absolutely, NTA. She is rightshe has done nothing, absolutely nothing she should have done to avoid this outcome which surely would have come the day OP turned 18 anyway. Or that someone who truly loved their partner would at least need some time to grieve before moving on.

while it brings me no pleasure I am certainly not sorry it upsets you so much, I mean I'm still not upset but okay. Im sorry, but your mom seems to be enabling the atrocious behavior toward you. Tell your mother it's either her husband or her daughter. NTA. The stepsister sounds like an evil little narcissistic biotch. I'm so sorry for your loss. If you had stayed stepsister would have taken it out on you because she was punished. (Now that I admit is an AH response), Being a kid doesn't mean you can't have basic common sense. NTA, my goodness, Im so sorry you lost your dad. What an effed up family. Info- Do they as adults in their 30s actually believe that your mother cursed their mom? I don't know if that's true. And hes 20 and still there (they may have expected him to have moved out by now, before this became harder). Wow. Bless your Uncle for his kind heart and loyalty to you and his blood. NTA, keep up the hard no-contact. But it took until I read your comment to actually realise that he was getting a bigger room TO HIMSELF than two other nearly adults (and as a male, my general experience is guys have little to nothing in their room beyond a bed and desk, and do little more than sleep there). Agreed, NTA. You're the child in this situation and it isn't your fault for everything that went down. Dont go back. Your mom and stepdad have coddled your step siblings for too long and your stepsister had no right to punish you for what your stepbrother did to her.

Not a good sign & shows how poorly your step-dad has raised them. You have almost nothing of your dads because her new husband doesnt want any reminders of him around? I shared a room with 4 brothers after we moved to a smaller house (2 years later I went to college). OP, NTA. NTA because your future child is the most important thing. I hope you'll be well with your uncle. Read this before contacting the mod team. He told Goop that it is important to "create a foundation in your own life" to demonstrate to your parents that you can thrive and be independent without their control. The only thing both of them did right was punishing your stepsister for destroying the father's day gift you made. I'm not surprised she moved out. Of course it can be. Seriously. I am so happy you got out of the situation. You do not have to tolerate disrespect because it's coming from family. Probably all the same shit that happened before she was there that the stepdad is in deep denial about. I am so sorry that your life has been made so difficult in the wake of tremendous loss. They needed some sort of wakeup call anyway. They also failed to teach their kids how to solve their conflicts correctly. Your mother can cry over it all she wants, but this is a direct consequence of her inaction and her choices. If your mom cannot guarantee those changes, then please stay away for your own safety and mental health. College kids across the land manage just fine. These twisted people wishing death on your mom would not hesitate to harm a newborn child. NTA- how were you supposed to know what your stepbrother intended to do with the paints? She made my pain so much worse, and didnt even care. It takes a lot to get to this point. Considering that step days is so jealous and childish that he forced his wife to get rid of everything from her DEAD husband, I'd say it's probably all nurture. The system isn't geared towards what is best for the kids. NTA. I'm questioning it because it's common sense. Step sis knowingly damaged her brother's properly, and punished you because he lied to get you to help him destroy something of hers. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns. Yeah and I am not criticising or blaming the OP, I am just making s point, a point that you now are saying you agree with. Was it unbearable? Youve been abandoned and that has to hurt so bad and its perfectly fine to emotionally express that hurt, pour your heart out to another person, work through the pain and let it go eventually. And my father and uncle shared a room growing up while my aunts on that side shared a room. Were your siblings allowed to this to you or any other siblings? You clearly aren't getting the respect or support you need, so moving out to somewhere/someone where you'll be safe, supported and respected is the smart move for you. Good luck! Youre right, the judgement was decided well before we read the flower box was destroyed. Not much privacy in either. I am so sorry about losing your dad. Dont go back and Im glad you have other family thats standing up for you. It's not just one person here whose the AH, Except the OP of course. But she failed you as a parent, and betrayed her late husband in catering towards your stepfathers unreasonable insecurities. Your stepsister sounds like a nightmare. This isn't a case of: "Favoritism" which there is, but it's also "Favoritism", "Manipulation", "Emotional abuse", Etc. ", "Last week, They took Tim on a 3 day trip and hid his inhaler, he left them and returned in 7hrs and told me," she wrote. For making it my hill to die on or am I exaggerating?". Considering that step siblings are adults. It is fair that you share a room with your stepsister but not that she is allowed to keep you out of it. It's not even about the ruined gift or retaliation. In fact I think you have been more that accommodating. NTA. She really is. Nta, its not your fault for you to have been mistreated, because of course it isnt. You step sis is an adult, so is brother. Definitely NTA. My dad got rid of most of my mum's stuff when he remarried, he said to avoid my stepmother seeing it & feeling "hurt" - though I never felt that she cared that much, honestly. Look into all that and have it transferred to your new gaurdian. I am sorry for your loss. You can still talk to your mother and try to have a relationship but not live with her. Especially with the whole mom death thing being "her fault" in the movie.

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They dont like you, have never been kind to you and they have demonstrated no interest in a positive relationship. I am so sorry for your loss and so so sorry for your father's day gift. NTA. That entire side of the family is begging you to cut them out of your life. I'm so sorry your mom failed you. It was completely ruined. He needs to realize that. You deserve better and I hope you become happier. You deserve to be in your own space and it sounds like you didn't have time to grieve your father's passing. NTA. Yes it would make sense to make the bigger room the shared room, but this place may have big enough bedrooms that the difference is negligible. I also just want to add that your step siblings are adults. Dunno why you are writing like I am, but just so you know, I am not. Holy cow, this gave me anxiety just reading everything. NTA - and good on you for getting out of that toxic hellhole. Sounds like you had a really nice Mom. He *knew* what was going on. Well, maybe for a little while, but the abuse cycle will just start all over again.

Your mom has always been right. That alone should have been a deal breaker for her and should have kept her from marrying him in the first place. When I became pregnant with my son one of the first things I did was check hospital security. Its not so much the sharing a room thats the issue as it is letting one girl put a lock on the door to keep the other girl out of their shared room. I, on the other hand got to live with my stepdad more since I'm the youngest and we established a somewhat stable relationship.

NTA. Who thinks a 20 year old is going destroy his siblings stuff because hes in a bad mood? I'm so sorry for your loss. Not sure what world you live in, but not everyone can afford housing with separate rooms for each person. What was done to you was vile, beyond hurtful and inconsiderate. Why would you want so much hate in your life? To them, my mom said, "She's a teenager. If I were you, I wouldn't go back. She allowed her new husband to force you to get rid of your father's things. Glad ur out of there.